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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

His Love Renews

I have had a hard summer. It started with my grandmother passing in May, a lingering health issue, and crazy fast weight gain. Needless to say, I felt like I was run over and left on the side of the road, wounded and hurting. 


Then I developed a wound on my leg that just would not heal. For almost thirty days, I fought the infection. And I thought, "Seriously God? What do I need to learn from all of this?" 


I felt restless. I felt stuck. I longed for change. I considered seeking employment. I was sure that I should be doing something more with my life. I know why I lost my way. I allowed my negative feelings to overcome me, and I stopped praying. 





I felt very discouraged, like nothing I spent my time doing was significant. It sounds like crazy talk, but it is true. 

Eventually, I started praying again. First halfheartedly, and then more fiercely. 

Finally, it all became clear to me. I do not need more. I need to continue doing what I am doing and do it well. God has gifted me three fine boys, to love and teach. The course that I have been on for years is the one that I meant to be on. I am feeling better now, hopeful. 





I am not sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that it took grief and illness to help me really appreciate where I am in my life and be happy with the woman that I am. 

What I do know is that having been through this ordeal has made me stronger, more confident in my abilities. It has made me more grateful than I have been in a long while. 

It has brought me closer to God, and honestly, I think that is the most important thing. 





Have you been struggling lately? Have you been bent low under the weight of your pain? I hope you know that God is always there for you. He is supporting you, even when you are in too much agony to realize it. You may feel like you are suffocating, but He is there, fighting for you and breathing new life into you.

12 comments:

  1. I will pray for you. Those are beautiful pictures. Where are they from? The devil wants only one thing, your peace and hope. If he has that, he wins. We know that only with God can we have true peace and hope. Stay strong even in little things. Have a Blessed Day.

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    1. That is very true Cecilia! All the pictures are from our trip to Skyline Drive in Virginia three years ago. We love it there!

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  2. I was reading a reflection from Mother Teresa the other day...about how when we suffer greatly, that is when Jesus is called us closer to him on cross so close that he can kiss. Mother Teresa said that Jesus thrists for us and by allowing us to suffer, he is drawing us closer and closer to him.

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    1. I love Mother Teresa. She was such a wise person. Thanks for sharing Amelia!

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  3. This is something I needed to read! I have been struggling lately--with both health concerns that are new for me, and my usual cross (missing my faraway boys!). I can see now that the devil has been trying to steal my peace and hope. I shall not let him! This is such a great reminder about the power of prayer--and beautifully put.

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    1. Laura, I will keep you in my prayers. I am glad that my story helped you today. :)

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  4. I will continue to keep you in my prayer intentions, Erica. It can be a beautiful thing to come up out of our suffering and look back at it with our faith renewed. I do believe our suffering can lead us closer to Christ, especially when we are clinging to the sacraments. I love your graphics, they are beautiful! I have worked on many novenas this year to help me in my struggles.

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  5. Oh how I needed to read this at this very moment. God is so good! Thank you for being His beautiful instrument!!

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    1. I am glad that you read it when you needed it! God is good! I will keep you in my prayers.

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  6. This is a beautiful post, Erica. Thank you for being so open and honest. It is difficult when we go through these seasons in life. A year ago at this time I was in a similar situation, going through all the motions but JUST. NOT. HAPPY. Prayer certainly helped give me a new perspective. That and making sure my basic needs were being met - sleep, proper food, exercise, time for myself, etc. I think as moms we are taking care of others 24/7 and sometimes we forget that we need a little TLC too. Glad you are feeling better. Prayers and hugs!

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    1. Thanks, Bobbi. Prayer is always the best remedy, but when I am feeling low I tend to forget that! And you are right that sleep, exercise and a healthy diet are beneficial, too. :)

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