Monday, June 22, 2015

Dads. Who needs them? {Answer Me This}

Obviously, everyone needs a dad, but some of us aren't fortunate enough to grow up with a dad. I didn't plan to participate in Kendra's Answer Me This link-up this week because it is about dads, and since I do not know my father I didn't feel I could properly answer the questions. But I thought about it, and I decided I should answer the questions to the best of my ability. I don't know why, it just seemed like a good thing to do. On to the questions and answers!

1. What's the best thing about your dad? 

I have never met my dad. I have never seen a picture of him. I was never even told anything about him until I was almost twelve years old. I wrote my story and how I found healing earlier this year, Searching For My Father and Finding Peace

My grandparents raised me, and it wasn't an ideal situation, but it worked. I remember being a young child and asking my grandfather if I could call him Dad. He told me that he had children, and I was not one of them so I should continue to call him Pop-pop. I remember being hurt, although he didn't say it with meanness, more matter-of-fact. He was the father figure in my life, though, and I appreciate all that he did for me. He passed away in March 2012. 

Despite pregnant face or maybe because of it, I think I look like my grandfather. 2007

2. If you've got kids, what's the best thing about THEIR dad? (If you don't, feel free to substitute your grandfather or another father figure.) 

I think the best thing about my husband is that he is himself, always. We met as teenagers twenty-four years ago. He is still the same hard working, slightly grumpy but playful prankster that he was when I met him - only better, wiser. If you want to know more about why I love my husband you can read this post I wrote in 2013.   

3. What's the best advice your dad ever gave you? 

My grandfather taught me how to drive a stick shift and how to check the oil in my car. 

4. What's something you have in common with your dad? 

My grandfather liked to eat cereal for dessert, and I think it makes a great dessert as well. 

5. What's the manliest thing you know how to do? 

I don't really think of these things as being manly, But I know how to check the oil and tire pressure in my car (my mother taught me how to check the tire pressure). 

6. Who is your favorite fictional dad? 

Honest, reliable, and brave, Arthur Weasley is one of my favorite fictional dads. Although not a traditional father, Mathew Cuthbert is also a favorite of mine because of his unconditional love, acceptance, and quiet devotion to Anne. 

Yesterday was Father's Day. The boys and I celebrated their dad, and I think he had a good day. We didn't have any big plans. We started the day with Mass. We saw my father-in-law at the church and wished him a happy Father's Day. Then we went home and spent the day there working on different areas of the yard and house. We had a simple dinner of cheeseburgers, potato salad, and sliced cucumbers, and then brownie sundaes for dessert. 

Several times through the day, I thought about my grandfather. He was a good, hard-working man, and I am thankful that I had him in my life. I also thought about the man who is my biological father. Although he has always been completely absent from my life, he is still a part of me. I will never wish him a happy Father's Day, but I pray for him, and that is enough.
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