Monday, September 4, 2017

My Sunday Best #15 and Another DNA Update

Happy Labor Day! 

It has been almost two months since my last blog post. I didn't plan to take a two-month break, but life has a way of changing one's plans in surprising ways. Before, I get into the surprise of my life (I had thought that finding myself pregnant one month before my 40th birthday was the surprise of my life, but I was totally wrong), how about a picture of Mary Rose and me in our Sunday best. 

I took pictures every Sunday of our outfits, but I decided to show three weeks of our Sunday attire because a couple of our outfits were repeats. Plus, I shared one of our Sunday Best photos to Instagram. Isn't Mary Rose the cutest? She is cutting more teeth right now, so that is why she looks so grumpy in the last section of the picture collage. She is growing so fast! We will celebrate her first birthday in October. Time really does fly! 

Next up, the big news. 

On July 21st, my father contacted me.

He had his DNA tested through AncestryDNA, and in addition to receiving his ethnicity results, he gained a daughter, me. After what I imagine to be a moment of shock, he contacted me through email, and then later in the day through Facebook. We have been getting to know each other through texts and phone calls. He is coming to visit in the fall. 

I didn't write about it sooner because I couldn't. Writing is how I process my thoughts and feelings. Honestly, I didn't want to explore some of the emotions that I knew were begging for my attention. Looking back, I can see now that I spent the first couple weeks in shock, which is entirely understandable. The man I had decided I would never meet had contacted me, and I was learning that some of the things I had thought I knew about him were not exactly correct. 

Once the shock wore off, old emotions and memories resurfaced. I got angry. That emotion surprised me. After all, I thought I had already moved past the negative feelings of my childhood and into a place of security and comfort. I didn't know where to direct the anger or how to let it go, so I took it to confession. It was the right decision. I left the confessional, having received wise counsel, feeling more focused and better equipped to move forward, away from the anger and into a place of acceptance. 

Here is where I am today; I am no longer fatherless. The man whose DNA I share is alive and well, putting forth the energy to get to know me, and being open about his life so that I may get to know him. I am unsure of what our future relationship will look like, and I have no expectations because, let's be real, feelings for another person aren't automatic just because of shared DNA. What I am certain of is that this is a perfect time for us to start this journey together. There have been 41 years of life experiences, personal development, and maturity that has brought us to our current life situations, which include people we love and trust and who support us in our decision to build a relationship with each other. 

We both have choices to make about the future. Right now I choose to be open to learning and understanding the man who, by right of DNA, is my father. 

In case you are unfamiliar with my story, you can read about it here, here, and here

For more My Sunday Best, please visit Rosie

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